"Maybe we ought to catch the news," I say. We grazed that table. She goes away for a while to a place the doctor recommends. "Cancer," Rae said, and shook her head at his simplicity. "Harold," Olla said. He did it, too. I looked where he pointed and my heart jumped. Alfalfa fields stood off to either side, and farther on it was cornfields. But Doreen, his wife, had gone to work nights as a waitress at a twenty-four-hour coffee shop at the edge of town. She came over and sat beside him on the sofa. She said try this. "Elevator is down that way, turn left," the man said as he aimed a finger. "I like food," Mel said. He knows we're here. J.P. and his friend sat around drinking beer and batting the breeze. "Okay," the deputy said. She announced she was moving back to California. She put her hands out on the bed. Both our children had left home long ago. It was late. I see Mr. Baxter standing in the doorway behind her. They are people who look uncomfortable in their suits and ties, sport coats and slacks, their dark dresses and leather gloves. The one who chases Rudy? In any case, there's nothing in the letter you don't already know." If so, it's supposed to be that way. She talked bitterly about the place she was leaving and optimistically about the place she was going to. Oliver is relentless. "Oh, God," she said. Oh, he'll have himself a dilly of a headache when he does, you can count on that. She wasn't blushing now. Now and then he put his fingers into his beard and tugged, like he was thinking about something he was hearing on the television. She sat down on the side of his bed. After he'd hung up, he wished he could have thought of something else to say to her instead of what he'd just said. He wiped them away with the heel of his hand. "I saw something about it on the news," I say. The Russian generalissimo was waiting for snow and ice, for Napoleon to begin his retreat to France. She's packed most of her dishes and kitchen things. Oh shit, look at him! If it's first-class, we hold it a day, then send it back to where it came from. "That other business, that pile-up, was something. She remembered he had read to her that night as well: Elizabeth Browning and a few poems from the Rubalyat, They had had so many covers over them that she could hardly turn her feet under all the weight. "I 'm going to turn off this TV and put on a record," the man said. He imagined a lagoon and schools of remarkable fish. They rolled on the lawn, Hamilton wrestling Berman onto his back and coming down hard with his knees on the man's biceps. It was going to improve any time now, she said. I drink some coffee while I smoke the cigarette. He nodded. Pretty soon she has another kid. Remember, sickness is a message about your health and your well-being. But I resent--" "Good," the deputy said. "When we lived in the city," Mary said, "people said you could see who'd turned on the night before by looking at their kitchen in the morning. It’s a letter from his wife but the man doesn’t believe it was written by her. These teeth of mine came in just any which way. But she and the baby live in Denver. Morgan said as he stared at something on the carpet near Myers' shoes. She's my mother, after all, and why shouldn't I miss her? We have it inside if you want to read something. She brought her hand up to her eyes and let her head come forward a little. She glanced from Mel to Terri and waited with a look of bewilderment on her open face, as if amazed that such things happened to people you were friendly with. And nothing could make him stop. "Thank you, Burt." In any case, to find herself in the country after so many years of living close to a shopping mall and bus service, with a taxi no farther away than the telephone in the hall--it must have been hard on her, very hard. Then she lets me go. I pretended he was an elephant. I open my eyes and bring my head up. "Once is too much," Hamilton said. He gets up from his chair and refills their glasses. After a while, he said, "Honey, why don't you do it? He thought she looked like a hospital patient in her white nightgown. "Keep them that way," he said. "Nonsense," Morgan said. "Holly, please," I go. Then she said, "I shouldn't be smoking this. He put the bottle in his coat pocket. "It can go up when I go up." "There's no more cream soda," Carl said. You all having fun?" Howard gazed at his son for a time, the small chest quietly rising and falling under the covers. We loved each other. He wanted to call her now, but he was afraid to call. Short Story Wednesdays: “Where I’m Calling From” by Raymond Carver by Will McDavid on Aug 14, 2013 • 2:07 pm 3 Comments If Alcoholics Anonymous really is a model for the Church, then Raymond Carver has some of the best ecclesiology around! But he just sat up and stayed where he was, making believe he was watching the television. Out in the kitchen, he heard a man say something in a low voice, and a chair being pulled away from the table. It was like daylight under the fluorescent trays of light. Sheila turned mean. The mattress was stripped and the candy-striped sheets lay beside two pillows on the chiffonier. What else did they have? He was to behave exactly as if he were engaged on a very important errand, nothing more. We have ale, and there's a bottle of Old Crow." The telephone rings. There were some empty Shasta cola cans in there too. The teeth were none of my business. She wants something she can file away to use later, if and when she ever has to. He put out his hand. The plane roared down the runway and lifted up right over our heads. she said. She says, I loved you so much once. Edgar immediately telephoned the museum authorities. "I just teasing you. A pickup truck had pulled over to the curb in front of his house. She gets into the car and lights a cigarette. "You okay?" "That peacock is crazy, that's what," Bud said. I know who it is who's calling. Laura said, "Nothing's changed." What was it I planned to do in Australia, anyway? He'd have a belt of the stuff before he brushed his teeth. But even if it wasn't okay, what am I supposed to do? If you're not careful, I'll wring your neck for you." "I'd like to be able to count on you," Carlyle said. "They're massive. She picked up her glass. It was cold, and they ran the heater in the car. They're asleep now," he said. "We have to go," I said. I'll go down to that little run between those banks. A teenaged girl in jeans, hair done in dozens of little braids, lay stretched out in one of the chairs smoking a cigarette, her legs crossed at the ankles. Then he just laughs and goes back to watching the TV. Twice I saw a little white sports car in front, a car that hadn't come from around here. That's when I began to worry. He was glad he wasn't a florist. It leaned forward and tried to reach its fat hand into Olla's plate. I'm just glad your dad isn't alive to see it." And here's something else. He made his way into the bedroom and took one of her suitcases from the closet. Howard didn't say anything. Dear." Dean!" See where I mean? I don't look for much action this morning. She nodded again. He knows it's tough shit. I got us drinks and we settled down in the living room. Helen opened the door. She'll put him down after that, and then we'll eat. He read the number on the scale, consulted the paper, and either nodded his head or pursed his lips. Now goodbye." Dad had his hand out the window. A few days ago the phone rang and rang, I was lying down. "Which side of the train did you sit on, by the way?" "Kip?" Right, I say. He looked out the window, and then he moved slowly through each room considering everything that fell under his gaze, carefully, one object at a time. Mary said. He opened his eyes and rolled his head back and forth on the pillow. You should've seen me! His condition is quite serious." Kip is there and this boy named Gary Berman. He enclosed a picture of himself that somebody had taken last summer when he was in the study-abroad program in Germany. I've waited and waited and where's it gotten me? I took one more look down the street for the mailman and shut the door again. Then she put the unfinished chocolate sundae in front of him and went to total up his check. "Rinse your plate, Dean, and then you're excused." That's why you got interested when I brought up the knife. She looked at his shoes again and sucked her cheeks. After Iris and I started living together, my former wife, or else one of my kids, used to call up when we were asleep and want to harangue us. Under the window was a bookcase made out of bricks and boards, crammed full of little paperback books. "I'm following out my karma," she wrote. Who did you go with, honey? "You can see for yourself," she said, and she watched him. She'll drive until four o'clock in the afternoon and then take a motel room for the night. He was at least two feet long, queerly skinny, but bigger than anything I had ever caught. Things have gone from bad to worse. He's just cruising around now looking for someplace to go. That's a funny story, Rita says, but I can see she doesn't know what to make of it. "That's a broken nose." Carlyle said. "I was happy with the way things were going," he says. He clapped his hands at the bird, and the thing moved back a little. But all of his signs are fine. "Tell him what?" We thought we might keep on waiting. The rancher, the deputy, and I stood around waiting, not saying anything. Just before Christmas she called to see when I was coming by with her presents. Then I went to the door. And she had to have her legs slung up on top of it. Patti was tired. "Don't touch me, okay? The clerk brought out three pairs of shoes and Jack said he would take the soft beige-colored shoes that made his feet feel free and springy. ==Distance. "Do you see him?" Then we began yelling. He'd just stretched out in the tub and closed his eyes when the telephone rang again. She looks at the clock radio and says, "Jesus, we better get moving." He saw the car in the driveway and the girl on the bed. "I told you, we're halfway through dinner." He let the children down onto the carpet. There's still the question of the handwriting. But then he backed up and started at the beginning, back when Eileen was eighteen and he was nineteen, a boy and girl in love, burning with it. He held the receiver out in front of him. Plus, I've got this job lined up. I won't bring up business. "I have the pink slip," she says. "Go ahead, eat! He gets sick on the trail, slows us down. They're not your husband. She kept bees and put up jars of honey. I'll just be a minute." "Do you have anything to drink? Maybe if I'm not just sitting right here watching him every second, he'll wake up and be all right. "I didn't?" "I'm sorry, Bill," the old fellow said. I jumped out of bed and went to look. She was sitting with his pillow on her lap. "I remember, Holly." She had her own life, and I didn't blame her. He couldn't see that, though. We're into something now, but I don't know what, exactly. The creek was about three feet wide and ran between dirt banks. He picked up her hand and squeezed it. I stood beside the booth with Donna's coat. I told you, it's part of the deal. I kept that picture for the longest time. He picked up the receiver, held it to his ear, and did as the instructions told him. He might even be wiping his hands on a dark towel while he listened to what was being said. In this manner, the issue was decided. But just as he was going to his room that night he said don't take it too hard, mom, she was old, in cat years she was 65 or 70, she lived a long time. I tell her I fell in love with her because of her hair. "I still have a headache, and I feel a little warm." She's just finished, or is just about to begin, laughing. That's the bone of contention here, if you hadn't noticed. It was brilliantly illuminated by ornate chandeliers, the tables occupied by elegantly dressed men and women. Then I thought I would get dressed and walk to Birch Creek. He glanced at the gray sky, filled with flakes, and at the tall buildings with snow in the crevices and on the window ledges. "I got an idea," I said. It always happens when you get into a. hurry. I'm like that fellow. I consider myself an expert in this matter of her handwriting. I'm with the sales manager. She shook her head. "Maybe you want your cake? In his own way maybe, but he loved me. And the woman said that years before, I mean a real long time ago, men used to come around and play music out there on a Sunday, and the people would sit and listen. How are you this morning?" They could tear me apart in no time at all. I'll go home and take a bath and put on clean clothes. Then she turned to him and said, "I'll take this call in the bedroom. Then he let loose a rolling grin that showed his teeth. Her hands were cupped around the hand that held the match. I pointed out to him they were my teeth. I put the fly rod and the creel on the back seat. "When it rains it pours," he said. He kicked on the machine and began to move back and forth, back and forth over the worn carpet. I saw George riding his bicycle at the other end of the street. Now I have to think about me and my situation. The next morning, Saturday, they cooked breakfast, drank lots of coffee, more whiskey, and then split up to fish, two men upriver, two men down. She closed her fingers over the key. "The dog was as big as a wolf. When they reached the car they drove the highway in silence until they came to a telephone. She had to use a walker to get around, but that still didn't stop her. Furthermore, and quite simply, he loved the man. If called upon to talk about the Seven Years' War, the Thirty Years', or the Hundred Years' War, or simply the First Silesian War, I could hold forth with the greatest enthusiasm and confidence. They clang an old farm bell here to call you for mealtime. She continues to talk. "Come on now, Roxy," J.P. says. I got to thinking about them again when I picked up last Sunday's newspaper and found a picture of a young man who'd been arrested down in San Francisco for killing his wife and her boyfriend with a baseball bat. There's no answer. "I told him I didn't want Cindy eating a mouse in the bathroom. Nothing. Paula said. The orderlies stood at either end of the gurney without saying anything, though once one of the men made a comment to the other in their own language, and the other man nodded slowly in response. The short story, "Where I'm Calling From" is one of my all time favorites. Anyway," she says, "something's going to happen to me someday, right? "Mr. Myers, we didn't know what to do," Mrs Morgan said. "Just making sure," he says. The young man was out in the yard behind the trailer and she was just coming out the front door with a cigarette in her mouth, wearing a tight pair of white jeans and a man's white undershirt. I asked. "That's all right," Leo says. I said I'd be careful. He shook hands with the doctor again. "The Myerses?" She was heading toward a boil. It didn't ring again. I had to keep on sending her money every month. But what do I know? "Maybe I'm all wet," he said. She had something there, of course. I can't remember. I would go so far as to say that every word of this entire letter, so-called (though I haven't read it through in its entirety, and won't, since I can't find it now), is utterly false. "Was I staring?" He took a dish cloth and began to wipe up stuff" from the pan. "He said it was about Scotty," she cried. She heard herself say that and thought how unfair it was that the only words that came out were the sort of words used on TV shows where people were stunned by violent or sudden deaths. It was just something he'd have to learn to live with. Then mrs Baxter turns and looks at Mr. Baxter, who shrugs. Jack set the glass on the coffee table, but in reaching for it he knocked over the glass and the soda poured onto his shoe. The young man felt his cheeks grow warm. "I'm just afraid. He reached over and opened the door on the passenger's side. I think about it some more, and then I say what I mean. I'm leaving town. She shrugged and gave me this look. They said they couldn't do anything until Ed actually did something. "That's a serious charge to make," he says. She looked at the men, who stood a few feet apart, backs to each other, breathing hard. It originally appeared in the prestigious The New Yorker, was reprinted in the collection titled Cathedral, and appears once again as the title story in the best and most comprehensive collection of Carver’s stories, Where I’m Calling From. While he was seeing to the coffee, the phone rang again. "Shouldn't you be home?" One night, when he was drinking, Earl decided to stop by the coffee shop and have something to eat. "I guess I thought I had. They've even bought another car, a station wagon, her car. You can let go, he said, I've got you. I said. "I finished talking," he said. "But since it has to be talked about sometime soon, and since it concerns you and the children, and you're up now, I have something to tell you. "What kind of things?" Occasionally, one of them would leave the room to go downstairs to the cafeteria to drink coffee and then, as if suddenly remembering and feeling guilty, get up from the table and hurry back to the room. Bud sends her something every month." The door was locked. Tannenberg? "Growing pains, huh?" The telephone has stopped ringing, that's something. Come down," she said. A middle aged woman who limps as she goes down the stairs ahead of me reaches the sidewalk and looks around, her eyes falling on me. "Who's this other boy?" But he doesn't remember getting here. I took the big chair. The TV showed this one cathedral. She put another plate on the table for herself. To being alone." she said. "Let's have a cigarette first," she says. Then one morning, I don't know. The woman still didn't look up or break her silence. "I don't know," Jack said. It said in the paper that she's begging them to unplug her, or else to just let her starve to death. "I didn't intend to bring this up, but in light of your behavior here tonight, I want to tell you that I'm missing my two-volume set of 'Jazz at the Philharmonic.' No one knows who I am here but I'm afraid all the same. He crossed the living room, went into his bedroom, and opened the bathroom door. Myers nodded. He flicked on the yard lights. He's letting me know he doesn't have all that much time. Tell them to mind their own business. You have enough to do." I get up and begin making a bed for myself on the sofa. "Tell him what?" It's my life, and that's the important thing I have to realize as I get older. I take these little breaths that she can't hear, and I wait. Beginning the next day he was out there at the box every day waiting for me to hand over the mail, or else he was sitting on the porch steps smoking a cigarette, waiting, it was plain to see. "Billy, I love you," I said. J.P. clears his throat and looks at the hills and the clouds. He had it floored, and we were going flat out. Leo hurries to the window. His hair was matted and there was a ring around his scalp where the hat had been. I went on shaking. He took things out of one pocket. Show them, Nelson." "What the hell do you think you're going to accomplish by this?" When he took her into the back of the house where the children were playing, she simply stared at them for a minute without saying anything. I lit up and dropped the match into the opening in the swan's back. "And you, Nick, love you too. I laugh too, but it's nerves. A turkey carcass sat on a platter in the center of the dining-room table, the leathery remains in a bed of parsley as if in a horrible nest. The doctor was just in here. He knew all about this, of course. I hang up the phone and bend over and unplug it from the wall before it can ring again. "How are you? "I'm going, that's all I can say," L.D. "We're friends here," I said. "I think you're getting out of line," Hamilton said. "It means just what I said. The guard pointed to the side of his head and grinned. If you could see yourself in the mirror, she said. That time was hours away, but already he was afraid. He got out of the car and went up to the front door. Carlyle's hands were shaking. I knew it was a mistake to let my brother have the money. How are the kids? this woman says, very drunk. "I've had dealings with his kind before. I believe it was on relations between the congress and the supreme court. Howard's hand was a weight on her shoulder. "Does she work here?" He said, Don't do this to me. He drank the juice, and then he pulled down in the bed again. In his socks and woolen underwear, he sat on the sofa and read the morning paper. Bring him on out here, Olla." Hello! If we want to go back to sleep--I want to go back to sleep, anyway--we may have to start from scratch and do this bed over again. There was a letter three days ago, his name penciled on the outside of the dirty envelope, the only letter all summer not demanding payment in full. "Today was a get-acquainted day," mrs Webster said. He'd lost his job last July, when the company he worked for, a fiberglass-insulation plant, decided to lay off two hundred employees. Fran turned her eyes to look down the hall. The boy was writing the check. He squinted. She could see it wasn't in the cards. But I couldn't. We seldom exchanged a word, just nodded at each other if our eyes happened to meet, which wasn't often. "I chewed the kid out for missing his shot, and when he smarted off at me, I cuffed him a good one. All she had was Donna and Pam, a semi-new girl who was a klepto. Maybe it was scared out of me, he thought. Dummy jerked his head back and forth. He hit the table with the flat of his hand. Then it's my turn to talk. Creepy. Myers got Paula into the car and started the engine. Things are going to be okay, he says. She had things to do. I feel wild from lack of sleep. "What's that?" Fields and trees and farmhouses fly by outside the window. He listened to their prayers, tucked in their covers, and turned out the light. Good times and bad, up times and down. I think I'm losing my mind. Once in a while I'd use a glass, but not often. They kept walking and when they reached their block, Hamilton took his arm away. I stamp on his toes. "He was dangerous." I'm looking for something," I said. She began to cry. Then you wanted to take it to the orchard and strip it!" She had her eyes fixed on me. I want to hide from it, that's what I want to do. That part really surprises me." "It's something," he said and patted her hip. She picked up some nail clippers, worked for a minute, and then he saw the device separate in her fingers and part of it swing away from the other part. Then the station shows a high school graduation photograph of the girl, a dark-haired girl with a round face and full, smiling lips. I looked at my cap. I think my heart slows way down, I think. The blind man let go of his suitcase and up came his hand. A trail of smoke stains rose up to the bricks to the mantel, where the wood that stopped them was scorched black. After a time, she quit trying. "Well, the coyotes will have that deer by now," the fellow with the newspaper said. I saw him at his graduation but that was with a lot of people around. I said. Cars, parts of cars, people all over the place. She was afraid, and they were afraid. She heard two people coming, up the stairs to the apartment next door. Or maybe it was February. She just had to line up the right kind of babysitter. I turned loose and held my arms out on either side of me. "You go on, Jack," he said. Nobody saw any more of Sheila after that. I said, "All right. Grinning slyly at something that had just been said to him over the line, the boy reached over to the sink with a cigarette. A plane taxied down the runway as I measured a line. 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